I didn't even know

Technology amazes me.  Facebook, cell phones, skype, all those things I never would have imagined possible as a child.  Within minutes of something happening halfway around the world, with the click of a button, you can announce anything to anyone and everyone you want to (and add pictures, too)

I am not going to lie, I love facebook and being nosey and reading blogs and sharing joy and pain with people I have never even met or hardly said 3 words to in high school.  I love that sometimes facebook feels like one big family.  I love that I can send my family pictures of our kids with my cell phone if something cute or funny happens---instantly.  I love it that I can tell my husband to bring me home something from the store on his way home with a simple text message or email.

While all wonderful and fun, there can be things about all of this "technology" that hinder personal intimate relationships.  I had a wake up call the other day that really hit home and reminded me to stop looking at my computer screen and look into the eyes of my child and really talk.

My relationship with Christ has always been somewhat private to me.  I don't want it to be that way, but it is how I was raised and it is SO hard to change something you aren't used to.  We didn't pray out loud at home or have devotionals or talk about God.  We went to church every weekend and stayed involved in church, but we didn't talk about it outside the walls of church.  As I got older I tried really hard to become more comfortable sharing my faith with other believers and non-believers.  It got easier but it is still one of my greatest weaknesses.  It takes so much conscious effort to me to sit down with my kids and pray or talk about Jesus.  I force myself to do it because even though it isn't anywhere close to the way it is supposed to be, hopefully when my kids are older, it will be easier for them and so on.  I am planting some seeds. 

Anyway, I have been praying for a long time about Sophie accepting Christ as her personal savior.  Because I am private and she can be private and because I wanted it to be her decision, I haven't pushed her.   I have just been mentioning things here and there and observing her reaction.  Well, long story short, one morning we were talking about something on the radio and I mentioned we should pray out loud for the people on the radio while we were in the car (I sometimes do this and my kids aren't too fond of it right now)  I had this weird thing pop in my head that I should ask Sophie if she has prayed a prayer and invited Jesus to come into her heart.  She said yes!  She said yes!  SHE SAID YES!!!  I almost got in a wreck because I was happy/shocked/hurt she hadn't told me.  I mean, this is a big deal!  I have been praying for this!  I became a Christian at 7 years old while at vacation bible school with a friend.  I still remember how great it felt that day and every day after and how I saw the world through a different lens. 

Here is the part that is sad.  She did this over the summer one night by herself.  The summer.  That was before I had the baby--7 months ago.   I didn't even know. 

I knew within an hour when my cousin became engaged last week due to facebook (congrats Kate and Cory) and I am happy for them but what a slap in the face of reality that while I was playing on facebook and reading blogs, my daughter was doing this big huge thing and I didn't know.

I didn't even know.

Something needs to change for me.